A Single Woman’s Journey Through Marriage Preparation

Single Womans JourneyCountless Christian single women are wounded by broken courtships or dating-related disappointments. Even worse, among professing Christians, some courtships contain domestic violence, fornication, or other activities that leave women scarred.

The Lord called women to be His daughters before they become wives to His sons. A true believing woman single woman is given the priceless treasure of time by her Lord to spend with Him prior to marriage.

A Single Woman’s Journey Through Marriage Preparation addresses current issues that impact singles in Christ. The book’s thorough study of God’s Word points to such issues as lust, female competitions over eligible brothers in church, entertainment influences, current family relationships, problematic habits, and other topics related to challenges that tempt single Christians.

Each topic points toward preparation for marriage. But there are other outlines of Biblical pointers for a woman to consider when waiting for the Lord on a God-fearing husband. A Single Woman’s Journey Through Marriage Preparation book provides such practical pointers as allowing the Lord to position you for your mate, scorning other females through cliques, becoming broken as a single instead of being forced into brokenness through marriage, understanding the immature concept of “naming and claiming” a man as your husband, and other pointers related to practical preparation.

Here is an excerpt from Chapter 4: “Leaving Scornful Cliques”

We have married women who wish to see their friends with a certain man. We have other women of different cliques who want to see themselves, or their friends, get together with that same man. That man may choose among those women according to his prayers, his desires, or both. Doing so, he can stir up, among the other woman who feel defeated, almost a total chaos.

I say to you again, that we do not know any problem that a married couple might face together. So, when I entitled this section “Sisters, Protect Your Sisters”, I really do mean that we must pray for their strength. Impart encouragement to those who “got the man.” Give them tokens of advice for their marriage. Offer good helpful advice or prayer during their most apparent trying times after the marriage ceremony.

When there is trouble in a marriage’s paradise, a wife can take emotional hits easily. I can certainly relate to the pain of marital problems. The worst part of anybody’s problems with marriage is when the wrong sets of ears hear the bad news. What believer, after the heart of God, really wants to create even more problems with attitudes and grievous words? Sisters, we demonstrate a jealousy problem when we deliberately show that we don’t want to see others happy.

Jealousy can cloud our thoughts and drive our tongues. A prime example of one woman using her mouth to worsen problems for another is the story in I Samuel about the prophet’s mother. Verse 5 says that the LORD had closed up the womb of Hannah before she could bear her son, Samuel.

Verse 6. And her adversary (her husband’s other wife) also provoked her sore, for to make her fret, because the LORD had shut up her womb. Verse 7. And as he did so year by year, when she went to the house of the LORD, so she (her husband’s other wife) provoked her. Therefore, she wept, and did not eat. – I Samuel 1:6-7 (Holy Bible, King James Version)

The woman moved Hannah to more grief for not being able to have children. She seemed to take pleasure in scorning her. Sisters, recognize that this is going on today. Let us move up higher than how we’ve behaved by doing the very opposite.

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. – Romans 12:15 (Holy Bible, King James Version)

Currently, this is what the world sees the church doing. Many rejoice when we see each other experiencing problems. We frown at the sight of couples announcing their courtships or engagements  because their happiness simply offends too many of the contenders. Yet we rejoice when we see those couples experiencing problems. “Look! They’re only doing what everybody else is doing.”

Now, of course, not all of us are doing these evil deeds. But the impact of the messiness is high enough to get the devil’s attention. He laughs at our resemblance of the rest of the world. A church revolving around strife and messiness has no spiritual authority to effectively reach their surrounding communities.

You might ask yourself, “How am I rejoicing when I see Susie weeping over her circumstances?”

Well, there’s that sensation that we feel in hearts when we say, “Oh, I knew that wasn’t going to last…I knew she wasn’t any good for him…I told her that she was in over her head…He should have listened to me…She should have listened to me…I told you it would happen…I knew it! I knew it!…There was always something about her that I did not like.”

Are you just rejoicing over your sister’s downfall because you feel that you were right all along about the failure you foresaw? That was how Job’s neighbors felt. Do we not behave like them?

Verse1. Then answered Eliphaz, the Temanite, and said, Verse 2. “Should a wise man utter vain knowledge and fill his belly with the east wind? Verse 4. “Yea, thou castest off fear, and restrainest prayer before God. Verse 5. “For thy mouth uttereth thin iniquity, and thou choosest the tongue of the crafty. Verse 6. “Thine own mouth condemneth thee and not I. Yea, thin own lips testify against thee…” – Job 15:1-2, 4-6 (Holy Bible, King James Version)

Verse 1. Then Job answered and said, Verse 2. “I have heard any such things: Miserable comforters are ye all…” – Job 16:1-2 (Holy Bible, King James Version)

You see, they were vocally convinced that Job’s suffering was a result of some sins they felt he must have committed. They found their opportune moment to demonstrate their puffed up knowledge by kicking a man who was already down. Later in the book, the found out from God that they were totally misrepresenting Him and had to repent.

How much do we resemble those friends to whom Job responded? They even made him think how, if they were in his shoes, he would give more encouragement to them!

Verse 4. I also could speak as ye do. If your soul were in my soul’s stead. I could heap up words against you and shake mine head at you. Verse 5. But I would strengthen you with my mouth and the moving of my lips should assuage your grief. – Job 16:4-5 (Holy Bible, King James Version)


Writing about marriage, courtship, and relationships is my passion. I wrote A Single Woman’s Journey Through Marriage Preparation in 2003. Since then, I have written inspirational novels that engage readers with Biblical insights. My latest romance novel series, co-written with Tonshea Carroll Moore (my sister) is entitled Wedding Vows Under Fire Series 1: Gold Bands In The Fire, due for release in April 2013.

These novels, in a sequel series, are written to romantically but realistically depict the challenges of numerous marriage within the circles of the Reyes and Taylor families. Order your copy at your local bookstore or visit your favorite major online bookstore.

Lanette Zavala

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s